Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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