Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
