I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
