Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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