hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
