uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
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