I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
