Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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