Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
