He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
