So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
