So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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