cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
