got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's rum buckets o'clock
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
