pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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