Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Umm I'm too high to move.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
