Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Terrible idea I love it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
