Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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