in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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