this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
