my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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