Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We have started to decorate penises.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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