Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
