Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
