Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
