They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
