I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
