got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
