The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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