its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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