just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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