he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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