either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
