dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
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but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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