I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
