and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
