We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Randomize
