I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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