ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
