i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
