Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Randomize
