Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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