Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
