i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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