I hate your face
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You ate ashes out of my bong
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
