I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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