Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
