You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
