i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
