O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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