Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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