sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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