Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
