Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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