those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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