I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
