Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
