somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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