I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
