Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
