so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Can I color on your dick again?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
