i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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