Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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