I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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