he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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