Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
